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Almost every assignment you complete for a history course will ask you to make an argument.Your instructors will often call this your "thesis" -- your position on a subject. It seeks to persuade an audience of a point of view in much the same way that a lawyer argues a case in a court of law. A thesis makes a specific statement to the reader about what you will be trying to argue.
First, it is too long and ‘wordy’ (it uses too many unnecessary words which can be omitted).
Second, the opinion of the writer is not clear to the reader. is clear and concise…your essay will be focused and your reader will know exactly what to expect in the body paragraphs that follow your introduction.
(If you are not sure, it is wise to ask your instructor if the assignment requires a thesis statement.)Developing a Thesis Before you write a thesis statement, it is important to spend time reading academic articles to gather general background information about the issue.
You need to evaluate the findings and arguments of different writers and decide which ones you think are the strongest and most convincing, which ones have the most credibility and which ones will help you write persuasively.
It is important that your thesis be clear so that your readers know exactly what your position is.
There should be no confusion, such as in the following poor example:'Many people from around the world have different opinions about whether teenagers under eighteen years of age should be able to get a driving license and drive a vehicle or not and I tend to agree with some of them but not with others.'This example is poor for a number of reasons.The following thesis statement is more persuasive because it is focused:'Alcohol consumption may negatively impact university students’ GPA.'As this statement provides specific answers to the questions above, it significantly narrows the possibilities that the writer can write about and provides a clear focus for the entire argument.Here are two more examples of focused thesis statements:'A four-year university programme is better than a three-year one because students have more time for deeper learning.''Hong Kong will not become a world class city until it tackles its air pollution problem.'The second point to remember then is that a thesis statement should be specific.'3.HAVE ONLY ONE CONTROLLING ARGUMENT As you can see from the examples above, a good thesis statement has only one controlling (main) argument:'Alcohol should contain warning labels about the possible dangers of over-drinking.''Alcohol consumption may negatively impact amongst university students’ GPA.''A four-year university programme is better than a three-year one because students have more time for deeper learning.''Hong Kong will not become a world class city until it tackles its air pollution problem.It is important that your thesis statements also contain only one controlling argument.Beginning thesis: Between 18 women's domestic labor changed as women stopped producing home-made fabric, although they continued to sew their families' clothes, as well as to produce butter and soap.With the cash women earned from the sale of their butter and soap they purchased ready-made cloth, which in turn, helped increase industrial production in the United States before the Civil War. Write a sentence that summarizes the main idea of the essay you plan to write. Make a list of the ideas you want to include in the essay, then think about how to group them under several different headings.Assignment: How did domestic labor change between 18?Why were the changes in their work important for the growth of the United States?Writing Thesis Statements for Argumentative Essays Introduction University writing often requires students to use persuasion: they need to convince readers of a logical viewpoint on a debatable subject.The thesis statement is usually one sentence in the essay’s introduction that clearly states the writer's opinion and it often appears after some general background information about the issue.